idiot

As my dentist inserted that stupid bulky metal thing inside my mouth which almost caused me to gag, he said,

"Breathe through your nose. Think of something else."

I shut my eyes and there was only one name that immediately came to my mind.

Faiz.

Not Bobo, or Bo or Bobby or any of his nicknames. Just his official name.

I saw his face inches away from mine and then there was that smile.

I fell in love with it the first time I saw it.

That smile melts teenage girls' hearts. Or maybe only mine.

I opened my eyes and he was gone.
I wanted to have that nice calm feeling I had when I realize he's just outside, waiting for me in his plaid shirt. But I guess no one's waiting for me anymore.

I was so sure if I continued to remember any more, I'd cry right on that chair.