Saturday, March 12, 2011

but I can't cry on you anymore

As Hanes said, I'm trying to make sense of today.

The day started good: Going to a flea at the last hour and getting everything at a ridiculously low price and I got at least 5 hugs from different people.

One of the hugs was from a person I used to spend my days with doing nothing. From a person I truly........ love.

They tried stopping me and they were asking me why, why did I want to go there. I didn't listen.

And then suddenly he stood in front of me. I could already feel my eyes starting to water just looking at the man. He reached out for me and somehow I was in his arms. I did not feel anger as I expected to.
I felt sadness. Utter sadness.

I took it at all in; his smell, the grip of his arms, the words he said to me.

I went back to Hanes and I rested on her shoulder. I shut my eyes and I felt the pain. I didn't mean to be dramatic. But there I was, quietly crying on her as she calmly walked me away from the chaos.

But after it all, I went back to him. I sat by him and we pretended no one got hurt. We pretended very well.

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