Thursday, December 22, 2011

I still do

He tried to tell me.

“What if I die?” he asked through the phone. I flipped a page of the book I was reading, listening to half of what he was saying.
“I don’t know. Hold on, can you repeat the chapters?”

While I was busy with everything else, focused on getting into a good school, I lost the light of my life. I guess it’s true what they say, some people subconsciously know when they’re about to die.

He fell asleep on his bed and never woke up; wearing the grey sweater I got for him for his birthday. But in the three days before he died, he returned all the things he borrowed from people, visited his grandparents and gave off a number of his clothes to charity.

A night before his death, he dropped by my house and we watched a movie together in bed. I cried as the show ended and as he wiped my tears, he made me promise to be strong and never cry again.

People in school looked at me in sadness and pity and my mum kept making me soup and brought me out shopping almost every weekend for a whole month. I think she was afraid that I might join him too.

The songs in my phone were all of his favorite songs so I threw my phone to the floor and cried myself to sleep in his flannel shirt. I was so angry and on that night I wondered how he could do this to me.

I’m left with the polaroids I have of him in my wallet, his perfume that would always remind me of how he smells like and the ring he got for me on the day we got together.
I miss you. And I still love you. I really do.


Was inspired by a few articles.
And I really miss writing. 

Singaporean, lover of words. / tumblr / twitter

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labels: fiction, outfits, significant other