Thursday, December 27, 2012

i'm drowning

Continuation from here.

Girl's perspective.

He was amazing.
His hair was brown, sometimes golden under the sun.
"You have great hair," I told him the first time we met.
The piercings on his ears and brows were all gone, now left with nothing but scars.
He's clean and pure, so much unlike me.

I don't think the word amazing was enough to define who he is.
He had let me in his house after he caught me cheating.
He comforted me and made me soup although it should have been me that was suppose to offer a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold. He wasn't the one that was being cheated on.

He hugged me to sleep and pretended nothing ever happened.

He loved me so much, it was almost insane.
Daily, I would ask myself, 'Do I deserve this man?'
And finally, on that one night while I was immersed in his warmth and the comfort of his bed, I knew the answer.

At 6 in the morning, I forced myself awake.
His arms were still tangled around me.
I snuck out of them slowly, left a kiss on his cheek, and closed his bedroom door behind me.

After finding a pen and a piece of paper, I wrote down what I should've written months ago:

I heard you sniffling at 4 A.M after you thought I had fallen asleep.
It was the first time I heard you cry and it was terrifying.
I didn't think this would happen. I didn't think I would hurt you this much.
I forgot you were human too.

I can't bear to cause you anymore pain.
I know I've hurt you so much more in the past and you kept it all in.
You stayed strong for me but I was never there for you.
It isn't fair.

I think it's time. I'm doing this for your own good.

don't think this was any good but you guys kept asking for more so ta-da!

Singaporean, lover of words. / tumblr / twitter

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labels: fiction, outfits, significant other